Cypress Magazine

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Salty & River Take Over!

These doggos think they can train us. Us! Cats! First of all, no plan is going to work if we are not sly. These pups were barking orders at us all night! And we swear, more often than not they were just trying to eat us and didn’t even care about the table scraps! Of course, with all of the ruckus the doggos made we were locked in the next room for the rest of the night before even seeing the turkey. Ugh. Dogs.

Now it’s our turn. We are going to train those puppers and polish them like our hoomans polish their Christmas silver! And as long as they listen to us, maybe some of us can get scraps this time. So, cats are to get under the hoomans feet at every opportunity that presents itself. After that, the doggos will create a distraction while us cats climb up to the chandelier (because let’s face it: the dogs are just not graceful enough for that.

Finally, we attack. We will reach for the table. As the hoomas frantically try to “save us,” the dogs will have the perfect opportunity to reach onto the table and one grab the plates of delicious Christmas dinner! Then, the plates shall be brought to the nice, fluffy bed that we never use. They won’t expect that at all! There, the dogs shall get their portions, and the cats can enjoy sniffing and playing with the delicious feast! Merry Christmas from the smarter animals in the office!